What made baseball fun this week: Zac Gallen and a bird had trouble with the curve

Steve-O, San Diego Padres. (Photo by Matt Thomas/San Diego Padres/Getty Images)

Birds may not be real, but Zac Gallen is a snake who just did something 22 years in the making.

You and me, baby, ain’t nothing but mammals, but what do we do when we can’t watch the Discovery Channel? We can watch MLB stars like Zac Gallen share this lonely view with the birds.

The Scar Tissue that we wish we saw in the Oakland Coliseum outfield was a bit of a bummer, man, just like the baseball team they are losing to Las Vegas… There goes one less fan, and more set of eyes, that could have been there to see the A’s lose another game to another team. But you know what? Love is blind, just like birds aren’t real. You can believe in whatever you freaking want.

So the next time you’re chilling in the parking lot of an In-N-Out, a Chick-fil-A or a Runza, take a look at the power lines, probably dangling above you. While you’re getting something terrible and delicious made fast for you, just know the government is watching you at all times, and you know where the power lies: The power lines! In the 11th hour, we’ll Journey to the End of the East Bay.

As we tinfoil hat it, because who doesn’t love a good conspiracy theory?, just remember that we have a Big Unit on our side in the never-ending battle vs. those awful cyborgs. I mean, we are so screwed anyway, because we’ve asked our favorite wiretap Alexa if cats can have pancakes, as well as give our social security numbers, mother’s maiden names and 401k login info to ChatGPT.

That said, the last time a snake exploded a bird, Arizona won a chip, so wager a Big Unit on that!

What’s on tap for rampant Buhler shenanigans this week, Dawg?!

But what about the fans???: Yeah, dude! Steve-O brought the heat at a San Diego Padres game, alright

Even though my Atlanta Braves have trouble with them, I like the fact that the San Diego Padres are good, but I love the fact that they are so damn interesting. I dig the fact that Tom DeLonge will sit in the lower levels of Petco Park with no regret right now, as he sees how all of sunny San Diego appreciates All the Small Things in life … well, until one of them forgets their age again?

Then, there’s f*****g Steve-O…

Yeah, dude!

From the man who wrecked his body for you, I present to you The First Pitch of Death. Steve-O was packing more heat than all the French’s mustard the entire Vol Navy could ever hope to carry off the docks of the Tennessee River. Like Lane Kiffin, Steve-O totally knows a few party tricks he can do with a golf ball, too. This Jackass remains as awesome as his epic thumbs-up back tattoo.

The only way this could have gotten better is if the Wildboyz got to have some fun in a one-off episode at the San Diego Zoo. Would Steve-O and Chris Pontius have jumped into the bear pit like Ron Burgundy for the sake of our entertainment? I have never wanted to see two 48-year-olds in scantly-clad, leopard-printed thongs show us how special of creatures ferocious grizzly bears are.

As long as Steve-O is out there doing Steve-O things, I will believe in all of humanity, but not birds.

I don’t believe what I just saw! | The Dude of the Week, man

This article was originally published by Fansided.com. Read the original article here.