Zack McKinstry, Spencer Torkelson, Detroit Tigers (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
Liam Hendriks and Michael Soroka’s triumphantly magnificent returns to the mound are 100 percent what made baseball fun this week.
Two months into the 2023 MLB season has given us plenty of great things to laugh and cry about.
While the occasional bout of Emotion Sickness will leave you feeling Sick, Sick, Sick, I Think I Lost My Headache watching Michael Soroka toe the rubber again for my Atlanta Braves, as well as noticing how Liam Hendriks kicked cancer’s ass from afar for my favorite Junior Circuit ballclub on the south side. I can Go With The Flow, but don’t say stuff like this doesn’t matter when it so does.
If Only there was some way to write down my thoughts on the matter, as well as other incredibly important things pertaining to baseball. Well, don’t move. Don’t Speak, even whisper. I came to make a bang! Whether you see yourself as an Eagle of Death Metal or a Queen of the Stone Age, there’s something out there in the desert for everyone. It is up to you to find it. No One Knows…
You may not think my content is worth a dollar, but I Feel Like a Millionaire. If I Had a Tail, I would swat the flies that are the keyboard critics we all not-so-secretly despise. Well, as it turns out, The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret is somewhere In the Fade. When you’re on Auto Pilot, good luck making sense out of all the 3’s & 7’s life gives you. Well, guess what? I wanna Make It Wit Chu!
Feet Don’t Fail Me, as The Evil Has Landed In My Head before we Burn The Witch like we should.
The tastiest MLB segments of all time that you can just salivate over this week
Hot cleats, Gatorade baths: Tigers let it be known that Detroit is Hockeytown
I have no earthly idea if the Detroit Tigers are still terrible or are kinda, sorta getting better. To save myself time from looking at a blasted MLB standings grid, I just look for the reactions of my colleagues Kurt Mensching and Mark Powell in our MLB Slack channel. It usually does the trick. But is it a hat trick? I don’t know. I’m from Atlanta. But I do know the Tigers thrive in Hockeytown!
They are owned by the same people, so they’re gonna give it to you straight, Hot and Ready, just how I like it. Baseball and hockey with out the booshet, booshet, booshet. Pittsburgh may claim its stake as Hockeytahn, but Pat McAfee’s beloved Pens ain’t one of the Original Six, Dawg. The Red Wings’ status is almost as impressive as being one of KFC’s seven beloved herbs and spices.
Even though the Red Wings probably stink more than the Tigers (thank god for Dan Fricking Campbell’s Detroit Lions, man…), I do know that hockey helmets are sweet because they give you hockey hair and that s**t is primo, baby! I also know that the Floridian Rat People are taking on that team from the desert USMA is not a fan of. Miami and Las Vegas don’t even get snow, dude…
Win or lose, the only thing that matters is Canada will continue to be Stanley Cup-less since 1993.
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