Joc Pederson, San Francisco Giants. (Photo by Dylan Buell/Getty Images)
Check out this new footage of Tommy Pham slapping Joc Pederson right across the face.
Not since FX gave us The League has fantasy football been this unbelievably important in our lives.
In the most sacred outfield of Great American Ball Park, Tommy Pham treated Joc Pederson’s face like the cheapest bucket of beef in all of Illinois, as he slapped the ever-living Yobogoya out of that m**********r. While the Cincinnati Reds rarely win games these days, Pederson is living his best life as an absolute chompion playing for his hometown San Francisco Giants. Forever unclean…
If this is not a Sack-O punishment, then how are we going to explain this to ole Taco MacArthur?
Tommy Pham treats Joc Pederson’s face like El Cuñado did his studio apartment
Disclaimer: It does not matter if Pederson cheated in fantasy football or not, I will defend his honor like the diehard Atlanta Braves fan I am! Pham may be a swell guy, but he has never brought me joy like Pederson did with his bad b***h pearl necklace last fall. Not since Taco put on that Mr. McGibblets costume to scare his niece have I been this enthralled by fantasy football excess.
In most instances, I think less of a man when he slaps another in the face. I am boycotting Will Smith movies and squeaky-clean rap albums for the rest of time because of the Oscars. I will never be a Michigan man after Juwan Howard open-palmed a Wisconsin assistant in the lead-up to March Madness. Only Peter Klaven can get away with a slap because Tevin Downey was awful!
Let’s just hope the naming rights to one’s unborn son was not on the line in this fantasy league…