Fernando Tatis Jr. wakes up and doesn’t respect the Texas Rangers.
Tatis already took a 3-0 pitch yard up big for a grand slam for the visiting San Diego Padres in Arlington, Texas this week. The Rangers hated the fact Tatis was all jacked up on Mountain Dew, broke an antiquated unwritten rule in baseball and went after their entire pitching staff like a spider monkey. He returned the favor at Petco Park Wednesday with even more disrespect.
If only we could’ve heard Champ Kind say, “Whammy!” after this Tatis tater.
Milk was a bad choice, but so was pitching to Tatis. He is the king of his domain, one whose coronation took place the other day in what looks to be the Arrested Development model home. Would it be considered light treason if Tatis purchased a portion of the Rangers organization like Patrick Mahomes did with the Kansas City Royals? Oh wait, Tatis already owns the Rangers.
The Padres have never been this utterly fascinating. For years, we doubted their ability to hit home runs in their spacious Petco Park. Turns out, that was a lie. All they needed was the namesake son of a man who famously hit two grand slams in the same inning before. When you put the Petty in Tom Petty, there is never any reason you should ever back down. You wreck me.
We haven’t loved a Padres shortstop this much since Ozzie Smith first became The Wizard. He may wear a St. Louis Cardinals ball cap in Cooperstown, but he was a San Diegoan first! Let’s hope the Padres give Tatis Manny Machado money in the next few years. Don’t let him leave you like the Chargers, Clippers or Bruce Bochy did. It’s nice in San Diego, and let’s keep in that way with Tatis.
Once baseball goes back to normal next year, we need to sign a formal petition to inform MLB commissioner Rob Manfred that the Padres’ AL West permanent rival must be the Rangers. Why do we need to see them play the lost-at-sea Seattle Mariners anymore? We need more Tatis vs. the Rangers’ entire pitching staff games for all of our continued enjoyment. Entertain us, please.
Tatis has gone all Nolan Ryan on the poor Rangers’ Robin Ventura head, as he messes with Texas.