Who would want to mess with Nelson Cruz now? With this mask? No way!
Nelson Cruz just donned the greatest mask we’ve ever seen since Darth Vader’s.
Cruz is a man, he’s 40 and he’s got a mask designed to take down the cyborgs. We know they’re coming because eventually, they’ll get here and we’re not going to be ready for them. If The Matrix, Terminator and Back to the Future movie franchises taught us anything, it is the future cannot be trusted, especially when you’re dealing with cyborgs. They don’t care about your feelings at all!
Thankfully, Cruz is like Tom Brady and Paul Rudd in that he doesn’t age. When these vicious blood-thirsty robots attack our planet, probably from within because some “scientist” will let them out of the laboratory, Cruz will be ready to go full-on Bear Jew on all those stupid, idiot robots. While he’s no Eli Roth, he does play the same sport Teddy Ballgame once did, so we’ve got that going for us.
Nelson Cruz wearing this mask gives us hope for a brighter future tomorrow.
It doesn’t matter if your star slugger ghosts you ahead of a Sunday matinee or even your ace pitcher pops his Achilles’ on a nationally televised game on FS1, as long as Cruz has a bat in his hand and a mask like this, we know that we can beat the robots. We have to believe we can. It won’t be easy, but Commander Cruz has our backs and will lead us to victory, one swing at a time.
If we didn’t like Cruz so much and he wasn’t wearing that sweet Dominican flag t-shirt, we may have been convinced he was a cyborg. You can never be too sure. Then again, he did walk through a bunch of fake virtual fans as the champion of real life he is. If he was a cyborg he would never be able to do such a thing. It’s one of the few “Is he a human or is he a cyborg?” tests we have.
We care about the man behind the mask more than you’ll ever know, as Cruz is our only hope.