Rockies might want to wake up when September ends

The Colorado Rockies despise September as much as Billie Joe Armstrong.

The Colorado Rockies may end up hating September as much as Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong.

They’ve been Waiting a long for their moment to come, destined for any postseason berth at all. Now losers of three in a row, they maybe in the Minority of teams not qualifying for the postseason in an expanded field. They better take their 23-5 loss to the San Francisco Giants on Sept. 1 as a Warning or they better start thinking about a brand new hope once September ends.

I declare the Rockies don’t care no more about what happened last night. There is nothing Awesome as F**k about giving up 23 runs in a ballgame. Just remember, nobody likes you when you’re 23, especially if you’re the lesser California band who ripped off the signature guitar riff of a better song that came out in February 1994. Will the Rockies be found when they come around?

Will the Rockies need to have a Green Day or two to get through September?

Even though their first September game was Liquid Dookie, maybe the Rockies will achieve diamond status by the end of the month? As they scream in silence after getting clobbered by the Bay Area ball club Billie Joe, Mike and Tre don’t even root for, it will be Pulling Teeth competing in a division with the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Slam Diego Padres. I think they’re cracking up.

Though it’s too early in the month to be this Jaded, the Rockies must feel like Armatage Shanks porcelain after what the Giants did to them in Denver. While there is no reason to be a Brat about it and have a the New York Knicks didn’t win the NBA Draft lottery and I’m going to have a total meltdown on my radio show Stephen A. Smith style, we gotta wonder if they got No Pride.

On their own, here they go, possibly to Pasalacqua. While we don’t care Who Wrote Holden Caulfield?, we wonder if a catcher in the rye is waiting for them to come meandering down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams in their busted convertible. It feels like they’ll be Walking Alone on their Deadbeat Holiday, celebrating their own decay, but Are we (We are!) the Waiting unknown?

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As they tell Tuesday night Good Riddance, we are left speechless and Redundant over what the next 29 days may bring. I’m understanding now that we are only fans, to this day I’m asking why I still think about you the making the postseason, Rockies, because I’m a Chump. We all have a better shot of being dirty mud hippies in a coronavirus world than the Rockies winning the West.

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right. I hope the Rockies had the time of their lives.

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