Dansby Swanson saves the Braves and breaks the Nationals’ hearts.
Though he’s not the Mayor of…Donglanta?, as that might be Adam Duvall or someone else, the Braves shortstop lifted his team to an improbable victory over the Washington Nationals on Thursday night. After scoring an NL record 29 runs in their series finale vs. the Miami Marlins, Atlanta was going to lose in the nation’s capital until this most glorious dong presented itself.
The Atlanta Braves can win one way, but we love this one way they win.
With a wide array of starting pitchers who can’t go five innings, the Braves have had to beat on the brats with baseball bats. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah! It’s been nothing but Blitzkrieg Bop for these ATLien ball players. They’ve hit a few Rockets to Russia, but all they’re doing at the plate is making bad teams like the Nationals want to be sedated. They don’t want to be pinheads no more. I get it.
Atlanta improves to 26-18 on the year. They have a multi-game lead over the Philadelphia Phillies and the Miami Marlins for the best record in the NL East. The Braves only trail a pair of NL West teams in the Los Angeles Dodgers (32-12) and the San Diego Padres (28-17). Atlanta would be the No. 2 seed in the NL postseason if the season ended today. They’re going to three-peat.
We know horrendous starting pitching will be this team’s undoing in October. These are the Braves, meaning the bats will go cold in October and then we’ll get something akin to Worst Inning Ever. Then, I’ll have to pound vodka like I did in River North Chicago last October to forget about it. It didn’t work, but it was almost worth the hangover. But it is Dansby Swanson Breakout Season.
For as much fun as we enjoyed the 29-run outburst on Wednesday night, don’t kid yourself. You were totally expecting the Braves to get shut out by the lowly Nationals the very next day. Too bad Swanson, Ronald Acuña Jr. and Freddie Freeman decided going whammy a combined four times was the more preferable option. I might hate the name, but I’ll buy a Donglanta shirt. I don’t care.
The Braves live to beat you with the long ball because Chicks Dig the Long Ball.