Pittsburgh Pirates, Tampa Bay Rays

Old man Bryan Reynolds had a problem with Wander Franco’s ball flip

Bryan Reynolds doesn’t believe in fun, as he despises Wander Franco’s supreme excellence.

When you yell at clouds at Tropicana Field, you are actually yelling at rickety catwalks hanging from a domed ceiling, bro.

In the midst of getting swept by the Tampa Bay Rays, Pittsburgh Pirates star outfielder Bryan Reynolds took umbrage with Wander Franco’s ball flip trick from short. It was extra petty, and I loved every second of it. Why else would I be writing about this when it has nothing to do with the Atlanta Braves? Yet, Vandy man Reynolds is trying to act like he is not impressed with this play.

Let’s just say this particular play would have been celebrated by the whole Channel 4 News Team.

We know how Ron Burgundy feels about smelly pirates. Pittsburgh has lost five games in a row…

Bryan Reynolds was simply disgusted by Wander Franco’s extra petty assist

I get it. The Pirates are regressing to the mean badly of late. What Franco did is probably not how the game was meant to be played, but it’s not like he invited Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never called her again. Wes has been in utter shambles since that chance encounter on a San Diegoan grassy knoll. At least he has both arms, unlike poor Frank Vitchard…

I mean, this play had me more fired up than that one panda bear giving birth to a cub in the San Diego Zoo at some point in the 1970s. Had I have been at the Trop for this simply delightful game, I would have fallen out my seat and onto the field like it was a got dang grizzly bear pit. The only problem is I wouldn’t have a Brick Tamland or a cute little dog named Baxter to save my poor soul.

If things don’t work out for Franco on the baseball diamond, he can travel up the road to see if he can handle the Miami Heat as the newfangled point guard for the Orlando Magic. Thankfully, Scott Skiles is nowhere to be found. Franco will do more extracurricular stuff with the orange ball than Stuff the Magic Dragon does most nights in the Amway Center. It is not a pyramid scheme, baby!

May Wander Franco blow us away with his wanderful wand and may Reynolds yet at more clouds.

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